Pastor Blog
First UMC Hillsville
Kicking Adult Kids Out of the Nest…In a Loving Way
February 21, 2009
Dear Ronnie,
With the current economic times, many parents are finding their kids wanting to move back home. This can then create adult kids who have a difficult time leaving the nest. Dr. Charles Fay addresses this issue.
Kicking Adult Kids Out of the Nest…In a Loving Way
While it's fine for hard-working and respectful adult children to live with their parents for limited periods of time, it never makes sense with irresponsible and disrespectful ones. On page 147 of my new book,Parenting Kids to Become the People Employers Really Want and…America Desperately Needs!, I include the following letter written to a "responsibility-challenged" 23-year-old.
Dear Lex:
I need to apologize. I am so sorry! I've been stealing from you for years.
I haven't taken anything like money… or any of your things. What I have stolen is your self-respect. I've also stood in the way of youbecoming a man. I haven't done this on purpose. I did it because I love you very much. I really thought that I was doing the right thing by protecting you from the world. Now I realize that you need a chance to see that you have what it takes to make it in the world.
When you were just a little boy, you were afraid to learn how to swim. Because I worried that you might drown if you ever fell in a pond or a pool, I forced you to get in the water for your first lesson. You were so mad at me! That's until you learned how to float and paddle your way around the pool. Then you were so proud. On the way home from the pool, you smiled from ear to ear.
That's what I want for you now. That's why I'm expecting you to dive into adulthood by moving out and becoming completely self-supporting.
If you decide that you would like to continue your education by going to trade school or community college, you may live here with us as long as you are doing your fair share of housework, are fun to be around, and are earning money to help us with utilities, food, and other miscellaneous expenses.
Let me know what you decide.
Love,
Dad
Thanks for reading!
Dr. Charles Fay
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